Saturday, February 14, 2009

[G][O][D]

God won't ask what kind of fancy car you drove.
He will ask how many people you took to worship services who didn't have transportation.

God won't ask the square footage of your house.
He will ask how many people you helped who didn't have a house.

God won't ask how many fancy clothes you had in your closet.
He will ask how many of those clothes you gave away.

God won't ask how many material possessions you had.
He will ask whether those material possessions dictated your life.

God won't ask what your highest salary was.
He will ask if you trampled over any people to obtain that salary.

God won't ask what your job title was.
He will ask did you perform your job to the best of your ability.

God won't ask what your parents did to help you.
He will ask what you did to help your parents.

God won't ask what you did to help yourself.
He will ask what you did to help others.

God won't ask how many friends you had.
He will ask how many people you were a friend to.

God won't ask about the color of your skin.
He will ask about the color of your heart.

God won't ask how many times you told the truth
He will ask how many times you told a lie.

God won't ask how many times your deeds matched your words.
He will ask how many times they didn't.

All of us will stand before God someday and everything we did, said, and thought will all come to light. I don't know about you, but I have some things I want to make right.

Friday, February 6, 2009

QUESTIONS TO CONSIDER????

QUESTIONS TO CONSIDER????



If you have sex with a prostitute against her will, is it considered rape or shoplifting?



Can you cry under water?



How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?



Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?




Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?



Why does a round pizza come in a square box?



What disease did cured ham actually have?



How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?



Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?



If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?




Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?



Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?



Why do doctors leave the room while you change?

They're going to see you naked anyway.



Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?



Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?



If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?




If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?



Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?

They're both dogs!



If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?



If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?



If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?



Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?



Why did you just try singing the two songs above?



Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?



Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?


Why, Why, Why



Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?


Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough money?


Why does someone
believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?



Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?


Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?


Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?


Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?


Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?


If people evolved from apes,

why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses

are not on sale?


Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?


Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?


Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?


How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?


When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?' Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That really hurt, why don't you watch where you're going?'


Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?


In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?


How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?


And my FAVORITE......

The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons are suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.




Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place?